dream of my father

me and my father

i had this dream a few nights ago. how special and magical it was to hug and kiss him again after all this time, eight years, wow… very hard to lose a parent and even harder to lose both…not a day goes by that i don’t think about them or talk about them. we were very, very close. they dedicated their lives to their children and i will always be grateful to them, I will alway aspire to be like them and, I will ALWAYS keep them close…

when i woke up…i immeditaly wrote my dream down (typed it actually!! 🙂 ).. and this is what i wrote:

i had a dream last night that i saw my father

i went with jennifer to the foot doctor. she was having surgery and she wanted me to come. but i knew that she was doing it for me, she did not really need to me to come with her
but she took me with her. she asked me if i would be comfortable going into the OR with her and i said yes. the OR looked like an OR, but was very casual. there were docs and nurses around a table but the nurses had long fake french nails and were not wearing gloves, did not scrub hands. and doctors kept running to the corner of the OR with a half lit cigarette butt and a car lighter to light and finish cigarette. we realized how addicted they were to cigarettes and we knew that it was weird and gross that they were smoking. i wanted to tell jen but i did not want to embarrass her, i was also pretty certain that she was seeing what i was seeing. then i looked down at my hand and i was still holding my old cigarette butt, extinguished, but i still had it in position.

then jen took a small device with a metal hose and sprayed her pinkly toe with it, this was the surgery. she sprayed some more and then told me ” all done it will fall off”.
i told her and the nurse that this was crazy could the doctor please come over and help her! i think she said yes. then nurse nicely asked me if i would come with her to a new place. i went with her, but they asked me to take a little child with me, who i pushed in a wheel chair, but it was more like a stroller, the child sat on top and was arching back and squirmy and i was afraid of her falling out so i pushed the chair while holding her. walking thru this hall i kept seeing my father. and time would slow down and we would stop and latch eyes and turn to each other and hug so tightly. he was slim and wearing nice slacks shirt and tie. his eyes dug into me reminding me and telling me, screaming at me how much he loved me always, please never forget me. my mia how much i loved you. i saw him maybe 3 more times, big hugs and kisses. the last time i saw him i kissed him and hugged him and screamed to him as he started to move backwards ” i will love you more than anyone in this lifetime!!!!!” and he smiled back at me…. i woke up

my mom and dad